"He Looked Beyond My Faults..."

Originally Posted: Wed, 30 Jun 2004 22:11:47 -0700 (PDT)

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful...the Best Knower.

As-Salaam Alaikum, Family.

While engaged in a rather deep discussion with [my Mother], on the Goodness of God, something was said that started me thinking about the words attributed to a Christian hymn: "He looked beyond my faults, and He saw my need."

As my [Mother] continued talking on the point that sparked that thought in my mind, I continued thinking about the Light that was just turned on in my head.

"He looked beyond my faults, and He saw my need."

In our prayers, as Muslims, we say, "..I have been greatly unjust to myself and I confess my faults, so please grant me protection against my faults, for none grants protection against faults but Thee."

Then it occured to me. God is Just and True, and His Judgement is Righteous. If He wanted to condemn me for my FAULTS, He is certainly Justified, because I am certainly FAULTY...lol. But He doesn't do that. He looks BEYOND my faults...and Sees my NEED.

Why does He do that? Why does He look past my faults, my foolishness, my evil? Why does He spare me His Judgement when He and I know I am worthy of His Judgement? Why does He grant me protection from my faults?

Because He knows that at the ROOT of ALL my Faults is a NEED that has gone unmet. He knows that I'm a mess - not because I WANT to be a mess, but because I have been MADE a mess by a "messed up" world.

He looked beyond my faults, and He saw my NEED.

He does it because of one simple, yet severely misunderstood word...LOVE.

I so need LOVE. I so need Compassion. I so need Mercy and Patience. I so need. So He looked beyond my faults - He looked past the stains on my Heart, and looked into the Heart, itself - and He saw my NEED.

It was this little bit of introspection that literally had my eyes welling up with water; and if that wasn't enough, after I fought to keep the water from leaving my eyes, I realized that the same was true for my family, my friends, my neighbors, loved ones, ex-lovers...all of humanity. We all have faults, and at the root of our faults are NEEDS that have gone unmet - needs for KNOWLEDGE, LOVE, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING, INTIMACY, MERCY, etc.

Then it became clearer to me that everyone who ever hurt me was in pain themselves, but because of the pain they caused me, I was unable to look past their faults to see THEIR need. Instead, I looked past their NEED and focused on their FAULTS. And these were not strangers, but people very near and dear to my heart; but because I, myself, am flawed, I couldn't respond to their insults with Compassion, or reward their attacks with Understanding. A hurting person hurt me, and I responded by hurting them again. I failed. In that instance, I failed to do by them what I constantly ask Allah to do for me and by me, to "Look past my Fault, Lord, and See my need."

I am so sorry.

If there is anyone...and I know some of you are out there..lol...but if there is anyone whom I have ever offended, who came to me for help and got what felt like judgement, if I looked past your NEED and focused on your FAULTS, I am truly sorry, and I ask your forgiveness. I ask you to do for me what I failed to do for you, if you can, and that is to try to...

Look past my faults, and see my need.

I love you all.

RM