"A-R-C" and Relationships

In the Name of Allah – the Beneficent, the Merciful…the Best Knower:



As-Salaam Alaikum! (Peace be Unto You!)

In the field of Scientology, there is a Concept known as “A-R-C”, which stands for…
“Affinity” (liking, or willingness to interact with),
“Reality” (agreement between two or more entities on what is real, true, important, necessary, etc.),
and “Communication” (exchange of ideas, toward the goal of producing Oneness, or Agreement).

Mr. L. Ron Hubbard discovered and demonstrated that these three principles – Affinity, Reality and Communication – are INTER-dependent, meaning that as one goes, so go the others. If REALITY is raised between two or more people or groups, that increase will have the effect of raising the AFFINITY and COMMUNICATION between them as well. Likewise, if COMMUNICATION is decreased, that will have the effect of decreasing AFFINITY and REALITY!

A “relationship” can be described as “the manner in which two or more entities interact with, affect, and are affected by, one another.” In this light, it can easily be shown that everything in the Universe is in some type of “relationship” with everything in the Universe. However, the MOST SIGNIFICANT relationship is that which exists between the CREATOR of the Universe, and His Creation! All other relationships depend on alignment with this Prime Relationship for their success. In other words, ALLAH (GOD) in His Creation of the Universe and everything in it (including YOU and ME), established the LAW by which ALL “relationships” may be Successful, so that LIFE may be Sustained and Evolved.

When dealing with HUMAN BEINGS, the concept of “relationships” takes on a much deeper meaning, since Human Beings are INTELLIGENT Beings…and SENTIENT Beings…in constant pursuit of higher and higher levels of Survival. The more harmonious our “relationships”, the more capable we are of Surviving, and the more Satisfied we are with Living.

The Question, then, could be asked, “How do human beings harmonize their relationships?” This question opens the door for consideration of the Principle of “A-R-C”. Let’s begin with what Mr. L. Ron Hubbard described as the more significant of the three – “Communication”.

How important is “Communication” in a relationship? It is through Communication that “Reality” – agreement on what is “real, necessary, important, etc.” – is established, and “Affinity” is developed. Of course, it goes without saying that such Communication must be HONEST and TRUTHFUL, geared toward “agreement”. Anything that corrupts or inhibits “communication”, likewise reduces “Reality” and “Affinity”. By the same token, anything which reduces “Reality” and “Affinity” can have a chilling effect on “Communication”.

For Example:

Jack and Jill are in a committed “relationship”. That is to say, they have committed to help each other to survive. As such, they must remain in good “communication”, in order for them to feel good about interacting with each other (“affinity”), and for their vision for the future (“reality”) to be accomplished.

If “another person” comes along, and whispers something “negative” about Jack in Jill’s ear, this can damage the “REALITY” between Jack and Jill (if she is inclined to BELIEVE it), as well as Jill’s “AFFINITY” for Jack. Naturally, this could result in a significant decrease in “COMMUNICATION” between Jack and Jill…simply because the “reality” (agreement) between the “other person” and Jill became greater than the “reality” between JACK and Jill.

Or, JACK might make the colossal mistake of INVALIDATING a Concern of Jill’s, using “Communication” in a way that makes Jill feel that he doesn’t think too much of her, or her feelings. This will invariably reduce Jill's “Affinity” for Jack, as well as her desire to "Communicate" with him; and could damage the “Reality” between them.

In both instances, the “relationship” is adversely affected…and possibly dissolved.

How can this be avoided? The answer is relatively simple. The way to maximize any relationship is...
1) to learn the ability to be “honest” and “considerate” when communicating,
2) to learn the value and importance of “acknowledging” the other person’s feelings, point of view, etc., without judging…which requires the desire to LISTEN, and
3) to develop the ability and the willingness to cooperate for the “higher good”, which is the Success of the Relationship…not simply seeking to get one’s “own way”.

When we agree to enter a committed “relationship”, we are agreeing to COOPERATE with another human being, to accomplish a stated purpose. We are agreeing to COMMUNICATE with one another, to Remind, Encourage, Support, Correct one another to ensure the fulfillment of our Purpose for being in the Relationship. If we can manage to do that, then the AFFINITY that we desire will naturally develop.

Just something to think about…



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True Communication

In the Name of Allah – the Beneficent, the Merciful…the Best Knower:



What does it really mean to "Communicate"?

True Communication involves more than just "exchanging words" and "knowing what the words mean". True Communication is the experience of sharing "Beingness" with one another - the experience of exposing and sharing the "Truth of Self" with one another, and complete acceptance of the "Truth of Self" of one another - which leads to the Realization of "Oneness".

In too many instances, however, it seems that most of us use words, not to share the Truth of Self, but to mask, hide or distort the Truth of self - for fear of injury or disapproval - thus hindering real Communication and perpetuating the illusion of "separateness".

Therefore, the first step to True Communication - True Sharing of Beingness - with another, is true Acknowledgement and Acceptance of the Truth of Self; not so much acknowledgement and acceptance of what one has "done" or "experienced", but of WHAT and WHO one IS!

Fear, guilt and shame are barriers to True Beingness, and thus are barriers to true Sharing. A person who is not fully certain and accepting of Self - not fully certain of his (or her) own value - cannot fully Communicate with another.

Take away his (or her) "reasons" for feeling fear, guilt and shame; and he (or she) will communicate freely with any who are willing...and able!

Let us learn and strive to Truly Communicate - with God, with Self, with our Mates, with our Children, with our Friends...and even with our "enemies" - that we may truly Live...and truly Love.

Just something to think about...